I hate a lot of things in life and I worry that when people get to know me better, they will realise this and be dissapointed. From afar, I know that I seem like this person who is just really friendly and 'nice' but I'm not really like that. I procrastinate, I always want more and although I feel as if I am a good person, yes, I really could try harder with people.
I also feel incredibly lonely, and that is why I write here really, presuming people just skip over this blog anyway. I would really like someone who I could just walk to and see and be content with just sitting in silence with, because that is the nicest kind of company I think. Just being happy because the other person is there with you, sharing the same moment and company.
I also came to the realisation that music is far more important to me than I ever really realised too. Before it was just something I enjoyed but now, without it I literally don't think I would carry on. I don't care if that sounds clichéd or dramatic. I have been messing around on my acoustic guitar all day and I just picked it up to play more, and my fingers began to bleed and I sat crying about it for a minute or two because of the pain, but then I just realised how I wouldn't change it. I am glad I practised so much today because I am now better at it and I really want to just be able to play it so naturally. That would make me so happy.
